Friday, March 15, 2013

Flexible like a gymnast, without the freakish upper body strength

Any other mom, especially those of young children, will nod their head vigorously in agreement that multitasking is a mom's most developed skill that she never wanted. I don't WANT to excel at combinations like bandaging a boo-boo while making a sandwich or grocery shopping while performing itsy bitsy spider to keep everyone entertained. There it is, though.

Today, with my returning right-eye vision, I found myself armed with minivan and a desire to socialize. Off to my friend E's I flew. Boss and I were delighted to join her and her houseful for some coffee and Dora reruns. I also decided that today would be a good day to fulfill her recent request for a few portraits of her, just her. E's last year has been a big one and she's come out on the other side ever-so beautiful and accomplished. That's plenty reason for a few photos of oneself, I say. So, with Nikon in hand and 4 children under two years old afoot, I HOPEFULLY proved, at least to a small degree, that you don't need a high-rent studio or even lighting besides Mr. Sun, to catch a couple good portraits. You don't even need a quiet/easy location. Be bendy, people. Her daughter "I" did sneak into one or two. Because small people are tricky. And fast.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

MS can kiss my S.

First post... my first blog post. Oh, the temptation to cover, no DRENCH it in witty puns and offbeat humor about my life, disease, and work. I am the "Chandler Bing" of talking about what's really bothering me. I tend to have a tangy one-liner for every situation but if you ask me how I'm doing, I'll meet your eyes with mine for the obligatory 2 second time period, express a hearty "I'm tired but great," and change the subject as quickly as humanly possible. Once I even brought up the topic of football in an emergency-subject-shift. Football.

What brings me here on this sunny/snowy Thursday morning? Surely this mom of 3.5 ("Skittles" was 11 1/2 yesterday, "Blondie" is 7, "Boss" is still in the age of months... 20 of them next week, and "Finale" is due to arrive in 2 too-short months) has many better things to do with her time. And I do. I'm making this a priority though. I think it's important. What brings me here is that I want to tell a bit of my story. I want to talk about working through hardships. I want to inspire... well... myself. I want to remind ANGIE that I have a bit of worth and can succeed. I've worked very hard to make this point. Unfortunately, I feel like the harder I work, the more hurdles are placed in front of me... and if you saw my round physique you'd know that hurdles aren't my thing. I'd prefer a nice shallow puddle to skip over.


I won't spend a ton of time talking about the specifics of my woes. We'll cover the basics though. I was diagnosed 9 years ago with Multiple Sclerosis. It manifested with optic neuritis in my right eye. Because my left eye is a lazy eye to begin with, I was essentially blind for a couple of weeks. I've had a few other symptoms over the years... numbness, extreme fatigue, memory loss, and additional eye flare ups. On the whole though, I've been very lucky. The lesions on my brain are multiplying yearly yet I've kept it together. I thank my kids and parenthood for this. I remember when I was diagnosed and married with no children. I essentially gave up. My frame of mind was covered in tarnish. I don't have that option anymore. The kids need me and the option to disappear in my own sickness and pity no longer exists. I accept more help than I'd like, but I'm here and "in it."


In those nine years I've also adopted a baby, divorced, done the single mom gig, had several jobs both cubicle-tied and nanny-like, met and partnered anew, started college, switched majors 3 times, gotten pregnant twice, married, became a stepmother, parented, written dozens of mostly-pointless papers and essays, and checked my facebook several thousand times.


In this time I've also dabbled in and out of my own photography business, both through many classes and self experimentation. It's what I love. It's where I feel comfortable... behind the lens. I have let two major things get in the way of taking this love and FLYING with it. 1. My MS. I have told myself for years that because of my vision problems, I have no "business" making portrait photography my goal and occupation. There are too many amazing and... well... completely SIGHTED photographers that I should probably find another cubicle position after the babies grow a little and forget about building my own business. 2. Lack of self-admiration of my work. I pretty much can't see past my own mediocrity. What I should be doing is shooting and improving every day but instead I wallow in what's missing.


Even with my qualms... I'm doing it! A few months ago (before my most recent loss and regain of vision) I decided I'm jumping in. I finish my business management degree in May and with my new business and marketing knowledge I've decided that I shall fill my days with motherhood and my evenings and weekends building and sustaining my business. I had planned to "jump in" midsummer after Finale is born and settled in, but because of my recent vision loss, my nanny gig is nixed and I find myself with plenty of time and a dawning spring of opportunity. I'll still be posting new work on my website (angelaairdphotography.com) and Facebook (angela aird photography) but this is where a lady or gent would go if they want to see personal photos or read about the excitement, frustration, shoot-stories, behind the scenes, or to feel great about themselves by observing my inferior grammar and punctuation.

There won't be any posts about football.